The Day I Stopped Apologizing for Taking Up Space
For a long time, I apologized for existing too loudly. I dimmed my light, made myself smaller, and tried to fit neatly into the corners of rooms, conversations, and relationships. Somewhere along the way, I picked up the belief that my presence was too much, that I had to earn my right to belong. But that belief almost erased me. The Day I Stopped Apologizing for Taking Up Space
🙇♀️ Shrinking to Be Accepted
I used to apologize for everything:
- When someone bumped into me
- When I spoke up with an idea
- When I laughed too loudly
- When I needed help
It was a reflex. A way of softening my existence so I wouldn’t be seen as difficult, demanding, or disruptive. I thought being agreeable meant being loved. I thought being invisible meant being safe.
But all it made me was disconnected from myself.
💥 The Breaking Point
One day, after sitting through yet another meeting where I swallowed my ideas and smiled through discomfort, I walked out and cried in the bathroom. Not because someone hurt me—but because I had abandoned myself again.
That was the moment something shifted. I realized I wasn’t living. I was performing. And I was done.
🌱 Choosing to Take Up Space
I didn’t suddenly become loud or confrontational. But I started:
- Saying what I really thought, even when my voice trembled
- Wearing what made me feel strong, not just what blended in
- Sitting up straight instead of folding in on myself
- Saying “no” without twenty explanations
I stopped apologizing for taking up space—physically, emotionally, mentally. And guess what?
The world didn’t end. People adjusted. The right ones stayed.
🧠 Why This Matters
When we constantly apologize for existing, we send ourselves the message that we are wrong, inconvenient, or unworthy. Over time, this chips away at our self-esteem and silences our voice.
But here’s the truth: You don’t have to earn your space. You already belong.
Taking up space isn’t arrogance. It’s self-respect.
🛠️ If You’re Ready to Stop Apologizing
Here are some steps that helped me:
1. Notice Your Language
Swap “Sorry, but…” with “Thanks for waiting” or simply “Here’s my thought…”
2. Stand/Sit with Confidence
Your posture can shape your mindset. Uncross your arms. Breathe deeply. Claim your place.
3. Speak Your Truth
Even if it’s awkward or shaky, your voice deserves to be heard.
4. Take Up Emotional Space
Share how you feel. Your emotions are valid, not a burden.
5. Practice Self-Compassion
You’re unlearning years of conditioning. Give yourself grace.
🌟 Final Thoughts
The day I stopped apologizing for taking up space was the day I began living on my own terms. It wasn’t easy, but it was freeing. Now, I carry myself with more truth, more clarity, more courage.
You don’t need to be smaller to be loved. don’t need to apologize to exist. You belong. Fully. Loudly. Unapologetically.
💬 Your Turn
- In what ways have you been apologizing for taking up space?
- What might change if you stopped?
- Where in your life do you want to show up more fully?